Movie mini-reviews

What I want out of each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area.
What I want out of each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area.

In an effort to get more out of the absurd amounts of media I consume, I’m launching movie mini-reviews.

This post will include one thought from each movie I watch. No thumbs-up or 5 stars or any of that bullshit.

My full Movies page will include a lot more random thoughts. Still no thumbs-up or any of that bullshit.

I LOVE movies, but these days TV is a far superior art form for telling rich stories and developing nuanced characters.

The best TV shows I’ve watched (like Breaking Bad) are FAR better than the best movies (like Shawshank Redemption).

Watching a great TV show is like making a best friend – it takes time and there will be ups and downs, but you’re left with something deeper and longer lasting.

Watching a great movie is like having a fun one-night stand. You’ll have the story, but that’s about it.

My long-winded way of saying at some point, I’ll launch a TV page too.

I’ll put all of the reviews on the Movies page. And I’ll write an update post every month or two.

From the past few months:

Aristocrats [Rotten]

  • The access is incredible – they interview every great comedian. It’s a great format – would love to see something similar for 50-100 once-great, now-retired athletes

Dredd [Rotten]

  • Really like Olivia Thirlby. Unconventionally sexy and captures your attention

End of Watch [Rotten]

  • Another interracial bromance-y cop movie set in the ghettos with a smell-from-a-mile-away tragic ending? I’m there!

Equilibrium [Rotten]

  • Big Mac movie – enjoy it while you’re watching it, no long-term value and feel gross at the end

Fast and Furious 4 (aka Fast and Furious) [Rotten]

  • Paul Walker’s the J.R. Smith of actors. If you don’t understand what I mean read Bill Simmons
  • Bonus: Why does Jordana Brewster always wear a summer dress?

Following Sean [Rotten]

  • Boy raised in crazy house, grows up normal

Headhunters [Rotten]

  • Jaime Lannister as the bad guy. Watch it

House of Cards [Wikipedia]

  • Stopped after 10 minutes. Couldn’t stand Kevin Spacey with a Southern accent while breaking the 4th wall. I do like Robin Penn, but not enough

Lincoln [Rotten]

  • Joseph Gordon Levitt is EVERYWHERE (Premium Rush, Dark Knight, Inception, 500 Days of Crap). Reminds me of Hugo Weaving on that tear with the Matrix…and Lord of the Rings…and V for Vendetta…

True Romance [Rotten]

  • WHAT a cast: Dennis Hopper, Christian Slater, Patricia Arquette, a stoner Brad Pitt, a borderline-normal Christopher Walken, James Gandolfini as a sadistic underling

Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 [Rotten]

  • Poor man’s X-Men (or poor woman’s, since they CLEARLY had the better powers)

Wreck-it Ralph  [Rotten]

  • How many guys my age fondly reminisce about Street Fighter 2? And of those, how many think they were god’s gift playing Ryu or Ken or Sagat? Because everyone else pretty much sucked…even Sagat to some extent…and Ken…