“It’s the things you chain yourself to that set you free” – a collection of insights from David Brooks (@nytdavidbrooks)

David Brooks is another of my favorite writers / thinkers. Like this post on Alain de Botton, here’s a collection of notes that I’ve taken from David Brooks’s writings and talks. There will be a part 2 at some point. There was too much for just one post.

“In the realm of emotion they have a web of unconditional love. In the realm of intellect, they have a set, permanent philosophy about how life is. In the realm of action, they have commitments to projects that can’t be completed in a lifetime. In the realm of morality, they have a certain consistency and rigor that’s almost perfect.” – David Brooks (from The Atlantic)

The Moral Bucket List [NYT]

  • “The résumé virtues are the skills you bring to the marketplace. The eulogy virtues are the ones that are talked about at your funeral”
  • “You lack a moral vocabulary. It is easy to slip into a self-satisfied moral mediocrity.”
  • “But all the people I’ve ever deeply admired are profoundly honest about their own weaknesses. They have identified their core sin”
  • “But people on the road to inner light do not find their vocations by asking, what do I want from life? They ask, what is life asking of me? How can I match my intrinsic talent with one of the world’s deep needs?”
  • “The people on this road see the moments of suffering as pieces of a larger narrative. […] They see life as a moral drama and feel fulfilled only when they are enmeshed in a struggle on behalf of some ideal.”

The 4 Types of Commitments [YouTube]

  • failure advice sucks, don’t fail
  • happiness peaks in 20s, then declines until bottoming out at 47, then climbs again
  • “you need an agency moment, when you’re deciding your own criteria for judging success”
  • making commitments is key, there are 4 types:
    1. to spouse and family
    2. to career and vocation (“a vocation summons you”)
    3. to faith or philosophy
    4. to community and village
  • morality has an inverse logic: give to receive, failure leads to success, find yourself by losing yourself
  • society today values skills over character
  • “it’s the things you chain yourself to that set you free”

The Heart Grows Smarter [NYT]

  • “It was the capacity for intimate relationships that predicted flourishing in all aspects of these men’s lives.”
  • “In case after case, the magic formula is capacity for intimacy combined with persistence, discipline, order and dependability.”

The Service Patch [NYT]

  • “But I was struck by the unspoken assumptions. Many of these students seem to have a blinkered view of their options.”
  • “Many people today find it easy to use the vocabulary of entrepreneurialism, whether they are in business or social entrepreneurs. This is a utilitarian vocabulary. How can I serve the greatest number? How can I most productively apply my talents to the problems of the world? It’s about resource allocation.”
  • “Around what ultimate purpose should your life revolve? Are you capable of heroic self-sacrifice or is life just a series of achievement hoops? These, too, are not analytic questions about what to do. They require literary distinctions and moral evaluations.”

The Thought Leader [NYT]

  • “The Thought Leader is sort of a highflying, good-doing yacht-to-yacht concept peddler. Each year, he gets to speak at the Clinton Global Initiative, where successful people gather to express compassion for those not invited.”
  • “By his late 20s, he has taken a job he detests in a consulting firm, offering his colleagues strategy memos and sexual tension. By his early 30s, his soul has been so thoroughly crushed he’s incapable of thinking outside of consultantese. It’s not clear our Thought Leader started out believing he would write a book on the productivity gains made possible by improved electronic medical records, but having written such a book he can now travel from medical conference to medical conference making presentations and enjoying the rewards of being T.S.A. Pre.”
  • “The tragedy of middle-aged fame is that the fullest glare of attention comes just when a person is most acutely aware of his own mediocrity.”

The Haimish Line [NYT]

  • “We live in a highly individualistic culture. When we’re shopping for a vacation we’re primarily thinking about Where. The travel companies offer brochures showing private beaches and phenomenal sights. But when you come back from vacation, you primarily treasure the memories of Who — the people you met from faraway places, and the lives you came in contact with.”