Why don’t we get what we want? In one (Greek) word: Akrasia

At least 10 times a day, and probably closer to 100, I’m faced with a situation where I SHOULD do X, but I actually do Y instead.

I should wake up now. I actually hit the snooze button. Three times.

I should run another 2 laps, like I planned to do. Instead, I walk one and call it a day.

I should tell the waiter that this dish is too salty. I wind up just eating less of it and feeling dissatisfied.

This gap, between what we SHOULD do and what we ACTUALLY do, is something the Greeks knew well.

They even gave it a name: AKRASIA.

Akrasia is our inner weakness. It’s the gap between our expectations and our realizations. It’s our lack of (pick your favorite psychology concept of the day: willpower/grit/persistence).

Akrasia is like amnesia for our better self. Our better self knows what he should be doing: Finish the project. Get to bed early. Be kind to strangers. But instead, akrasia casts its magic spell and our better selves forget. We play Pokemon Go instead of working on our side business. We watch another episode of Narcos instead of sleeping. We get snippy at a slow cashier even though deep down we know it’s not her fault.

Akrasia knows we’re impatient. So she gives us rewards right here right now. She knows doing the right thing, the hard thing, those rewards don’t come until later. So she offers us one marshmallow, right now, and she sits back and watches as we scarf it down, instead of waiting for two later.

Akrasia knows we’re afraid. She knows we hate to fail, we hate to look bad, we avoid embarrassment at all costs. So she exaggerates risk. She distorts our ability to make calm, rational choices. She toys mercilessly with our emotions.

But in the words of Edward Murrow, we are not descended…from fearful man.

We have an ally in our corner. An ally that can beat akrasia time and again. An ally who is so strong and influential that he’s already everywhere in our lives, in the world around us.

That ally is habit.

Akrasia hates habit. Because habit defeats akrasia like it ain’t no thing.

Habit is an action repeated until it becomes automatic. With each repetition, that action becomes easier, more efficient, more effective. More unstoppable.

Habits can be simple, like flossing, and awesomely complex, like flying a jumbo jet.

When you build a strong habit, your willpower and grit and persistence no longer matter.

When you have a strong habit, impatience and fear don’t matter. You’re focused on action, not results. You know the outcome will take care of itself, with time, with effort, with repetition. Through building the habit, you accept that failure is inseparable from growth, from progress. You know what matters is the doing, not the thinking.

Habit shuts out akrasia.

That’s why you brush your teeth every night, no matter how tired you are, what kind of day you had.

That’s how a long-time vegetarian stops craving meat. They may even find it gross.

That’s how early birds wake up at 7am, even on the weekends, even after a late night out.

And that’s why you see the same ripped and athletic guys at the gym, day after day, at almost the same time, doing nearly the same routines. You think they don’t have slow days? Mornings when they feel tired, cranky, sore?

That’s the power of habit.

If there’s something you REALLY WANT from life, whether its to build a profitable business, or save enough money to travel the world, or lose 100 pounds, you must think habits first. You must consciously build the right habits, repetition after repetition, routine after routine, week after week.

Don’t worry about akrasia. Don’t fret that you lack willpower or grit

Frankly, none of that shit matters. The solution, like most good and real solutions, is very simple:

Build good habits. Build a habit driven life.

And kiss akrasia bye-bye.

I’m writing a book about habits. This is a working excerpt. Thanks for reading!

Winners Always Finish: a review of the famous Grit study by Angela Duckworth

Behavioral psychology concepts tend to explode onto the scene like Billboard #1 songs. And then they’re discarded just as quickly. Only a few have staying power: Mikhail C’s description of flow and why it’s so good to get lost in your work. Carol Dweck’s concept of a growth mindset and the value of believing that failure isn’t a permanent condition.

To those two (and some others), I would add Angela Duckworth’s famous grit study. Like all psychology findings that stick around, it has a catchy keyword and it reveals a truth about human behavior that is both intuitive and surprising. Whether you’re gritty or not, you want more of it, and you especially want your kids to have it.

So I finally read the original research paper because I’m a nerd who is obsessed with habits, and I believe grit can be a habit.

The brief summary: “don’t give up and you’ll eventually succeed.” But there’s a lot more to the study and its findings. As academic research papers go, it was a fun one to read. I wanted to share some of the nuances and insights with you.

So what is grit?

Grit is “perseverance and passion for long-term goals. Grit entails working strenuously toward challenges, maintaining effort and interest over years despite failure, adversity, and plateaus in progress”

Winners always finish

Many people think that grit is about working hard and not quitting. But grit is also about FOLLOWING THROUGH on what you start. Gritty people commit to one pursuit, to the exclusion of others. They finish what they begin. That’s what makes them winners.

Follow-through is “evidence of purposeful continuous commitment to certain types of activities versus sporadic efforts in diverse areas”

“whereas the importance of working harder is easily apprehended, the importance of working longer without switching objectives may be less perceptible […] eg, a prodigy who practices intensively yet moves from piano to saxophone to voice will likely be surpassed by an equally gifted but grittier child”

The concept of follow through seems to be ignored when we talk about grit.

More notes and excerpts

  • if you’re conscientious, chances are you’re also gritty
  • grit is not correlated with general intelligence. in fact there is some evidence that it’s inversely correlated
  • high achievers [are] triply blessed by “ability combined with zeal and with capacity for hard labour”
  • forget 10 years of practice, 20 is even better: “over 10 years of daily deliberate practice set apart expert performers from less proficient peers and that 20 years of dedicated practice was an even more reliable predictor of world-class achievement”
  • grit increases with age and level of education (graduate students had the most grit…)
  • grit isn’t everything, especially when young. the authors specifically state, “a strong desire for novelty and a low threshold for frustration may be adaptive earlier in life: Moving on from dead-end pursuits is essential to the discovery of more promising paths”
  • but grit predicted things like: drop out rates during Westpoint’s summer Beast Barracks; performance at the National Spelling Bee; GPAs at the top universities; graduation rates at inner city schools

and just because it’s interesting:

“Participants (at the National Spelling Bee Finals) studied for the spelling bee an average of 2.25 hours per day on weekends and 1.34 hours per day on weekdays”

Angela gives a TED talk, embedded below. It’s interesting, although it’s not a summary of her research:

If you like these talks here’s my list of TED talks and notes.

More thoughts on grit

I’m reminded of Rule 50 from The Little Book of Talent: “Build grit, love the grind”

I’m reminded of David Brooks who says that love is both transcendent magic and a gritty commitment.

Paul Tough, in a podcast (it might have been an episode of This American Life), says that the ideal stage to start teaching grit is adolescence, when people first become “meta cognitive”. And to build grit, a close attachment to a parental figure is important (I suppose for the sense of safety and security?).

Thanks for reading! What psych studies / research papers are your favorites?